Michael Chiang

Lesson 1: Naked Wife

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Lesson 5: Power of Charisma

A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

“You cannot count on luck or skill to generate remarkable outcomes in isolation. The most consistent path to meaningful accomplishment seems to be a combination of the two. Pick a small number of things and become so good they can’t ignore you. Along the way, however, keep taking your growing skill out for a spin, launching related projects, one after another, carefully studying the outcomes to see if you stumbled into something big.” - Cal Newport

great explanation of power law distributions and the importance of understanding them to help attain success -

“We are all constantly exposed to these kind of curves in our own lives with our investments of money and time..The important thing to remember is that there are outsized returns for a small number of our “investments”, and it’s worth a great deal of our time and energy figuring out how we can be more likely to make these investments.”

”..look around and figure out who you want to be on your team…who you like to be with and who you want to help win. And treat them right, always. Look for ways to help, to work together, to learn. Because in 20 years you’ll all be in amazing places doing amazing things.”

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

you tell ‘em Dave!

Hmm…”flares” and “jumper cables” 

Sounds like interesting convo topics to bring up with an investor

It’s MatchPuppy not Match Puppy, one word not two, if you’re going to spell it, spell the sh*t right 

“When you hear the word traction think objective validation. Once people who do not know you and have no vested interest in your company’s success begin expending their time, money and resources to leverage your value proposition, you are gaining traction.” - John Greathouse

No matter how many monsters they throw at us…

NYC always prevails! 

(photo by Noah Calina)

Advertising is still making the world go round (at least for tech companies)

‘You have to listen to both the words and the numbers.” -> refers to analyzing your data as well as gathering customer feedback 

“…the most interesting things operate on a fundamental level.” -> agreed! we at MatchPuppy strongly believe in two fundamental truths of dog owners:

1. That all (loving) owners want to share and brag about their cute dogs.
2. That all dog owners (or rather human beings in general) want to connect with like-minded owners who share similar passions and experiences. 

His strive for simplicity can even be seen throughout his pitch for NeXT workstations. This guy doesn’t waste a single word. 

Also love his charisma and confidence in taking on industry leaders. He isn’t afraid of anyone, no matter their size or strength. 

funny and helpful for muggles like me who don’t code

For all the Davids versing Goliaths out there, don’t play by their rules, break their rules apart and hit them where they don’t see coming

matchpuppy:

most interesting dog in the world

betashop:

On October 27, 2010 I wrote a blog post about the “57 Things I Learned Founding 3 Tech Companies.”

It has been awesome, flattering, and humbling to see that post went viral and has been seen by so many thousands of people — mainly aspiring entrepreneurs — and has been translated into many…

My favorite two are #13 “Work with people you love.” and #61 “Spend every dollar like it is your last. But, don’t be afraid to spend.”

I’m still trying to find my “sherpa”. 

And shooting marshmallows at people sounds fun!

So I’ve had the amazing chance to sit up close and listen in on a fireside chat with Dennis Crowley recently. After a few moments of listening to him speak, you immediately begin to understand why he is symbolized as the poster boy of NY tech and you begin to appreciate that he is here to help represent all of the amazing startups and innovators on the east coast.  The passion he has for Foursquare and the love he has for achieving his vision is unparalleled (he’s already failed before with the same concept! see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodgeball_(service)). Even more, as he talks, he totally digresses multiples times from getting over-excited discussing the future and the potentials of Foursquare. 

Anyway, before I keep ranting on and demonstrating how much of a Crowley fan I am.

Here are a few of my key takeaways:

• Talk and connect with your competitors. With that said, don’t focus too much on other people. Place the most energy on what you’re doing and how you’re going to accomplish what you need to do next. Focus on where you’re going.

• Regarding fundraising, try to structure it into a process and then inform the investors you’re meeting with about this process (e.g. define the time period  you’ll be meeting with investors and when you guys will close the round). Also, fundraising is a numbers game. The more you pitch, the better you get. So try to organize your meetings so that the level of importance of each meeting increases as you go on (e.g. you don’t want to be pitching to Andreessen Horowitz for your first investor meeting). 

• Regarding pitch decks specifically, structure the presentation around your own unique story and don’t just base it off of some template or what someone tells you it should look like. Make sure it is the best possible way to portray your story. (Crowley had 160 slides for his initial Foursquare pitches.)

• Never give up and make sure you’re working on something you truly love so that you’ll be crazy enough to fail and then get up and work on the same thing all over again. 

• Believe in yourself and make it your personal life mission to convert the doubters and naysayers into followers and users. 

Few notable quotes:

“If you’re not in tech, you’re a muggle.”

“Yes startup life is a roller-coaster. But it’s not day by day, it’s hour by hour.”

“The stuff we can do is nasty.” 

“Focus on the road not the wall—When they train racecar drivers, one of the first lessons is when you are going around a curve at 200 MPH, do not focus on the wall; focus on the road. If you focus on the wall, you will drive right into it. If you focus on the road, you will follow the road.”

another takeaway - Just don’t quit and do whatever it takes to endure “the torture”. 

Welcome the WFIO’s.